My heart is hurting beyond words

The pain is tearing up my soul

These days have seen my spirit die

My life propelled out of control

My wounds lie naked to the world

My depth of suffering exposed

This damaged past can never heal

Until this nightmare book is closed



My heart is hurting beyond words

The pain is tearing up my soul

Please tell me how can I retrieve

The life that all this sadness stole

Because of you this happened

Because you had to carry put your vengeful little plan


It's you who should feel guilty

Because of you my child is dead

His blood is on your hands

If only you had never brought me there

If only you had done what you were told


It's you who's to be blamed


And you should be ashamed


It's your fault


No, it's yours


How could you?


How could you?



I never dreamed that we'd be distanced by a hate

That all the trust we had would go


How could I hate you


How could it come to pass?

This awful twist of fate


How could I hurt you


This madness can't be so


I can't believe it


I never dreamed that any barriers could rise


Or that I'd ever see the stranger in your eyes


Our hearts were hurting both the same


The hurt was tearing up our souls


The fury in us made us blind


We could not see beyond the pain


If we can turn again to love


If we can heal these open wounds


We'll leave this hatred far behind


So not a trace of hate remains


We'll overcome our damaged past

And we'll grow stronger side by side

To stand together through the storms

We're safe ‘cause love will be our guide

I can't take their pressure
No one cares if you live or die
They just want me gone
They want me gone

Thinking about posting here again. Previously reading LJ was bad for me, only made me feel lonely and crap but hey, being left out's seemingly worse so... Lemme back in ho. XD

So, on our way to see Marilyn Manson some guy stumbled out of his car at a stop light and started doing Kung Fu moves at us... then he flicked us off and jumped back into his car to speed away LOL Unfortunately we didn't have the Flip video ready, so we didn't catch this event on film... Yes, it is very sad. At the concert some guy that had dyed his hair/beard red and wrote "Call me Captain Red Beard" on his back stopped me and drunkenly rambled about how awesome my Beatles shirt was... I did my best not to piss him off and he eventually wandered off... The Concert itself was awesome, and unlike my NIN experience there was no moshing (thank god), no crack pipe smoking psychos, no drunken fights or beer throwing. It was nice, I was actually able to enjoy the music/show. Man, Mare really had it goin on. Like, hotness galore. Pole dancing on a giant chair - priceless. I just wish we'd had the camera... Mmmm... Oh well. Overall, great experience.



TMNT! I was siftin through movie links and found the new Turtle movie... As I missed it in theatres I was giddy and started watching it - it made me realize I really really miss those old movies/cartoons. The new ones just don't cut it. They did a great job trying to recreate the personalities and voices, it's just too cool. Now, If only I had the money to buy the damned thing... For that matter I wouldn't mind having Princess of Power, Fraggle Rock, He-Man, Thundercats, G.I. Joe.... Ah, It's been too long... Well, back to the movie - the Foot Clan're getting their asses handed to them... it's beautiful. :-P

Yep, saw Bob with Christen. It was ... awesome. The man just mumbles when he talks - see pretty much any video on youtube. Yeah. He was gorgeous. Mmmm... Wish I could see Tom Petty... Can't wait to see Manson next month. Aw yeah.

Got the Pets expansion pack for the sims2 so... gonna go do that now! XD

Was I right or was I right? Did I not say they are ROCKIN??? Well, They tore up the ice, AGAIN, this time Homer was that star, getting his 2nd career hat trick! Wee! Another fantastic game to watch, just beautiful to behold - man, when they have it together, there's nothing else that compares... Mmmm... Well, I gotta get to work so... I'll leave with another pick of my favorite line :

Yeah yeah, didn't see a reason to post here for the longest time cause I rarely get comments... but after people asking me to post anyway and realizing that I like talking to myself, I figured what the hell, why not. Also, been house sitting all this week and didn't think about it til last night when we were checking out our old LJ haunts and whatnot...

So Cassie, Josh & I just got hardcore into Scrubs... we've been following it for years, but never consistently... but after a bad week and then a day of just watching a ton of it we went out & bought the 1st season on DVD and proceeded to watch it in one sitting... I love Dr.Cox, and consistenly he's everyone's favorite. I LOVE characters like him... putting on a show to keep people at bay cause he can't deal with real relationships... Mmmmm ...

Anyway... The Detroit Red Wings have been on and off all season, but thank the GODS Babcock woke up and put Hank & Peppy on a line together again, they & Homer have been tearing it up like CRAZY... Speaking of, I just got to watch the game from Tuesday, and DAMN *fans self* it looked like the old Wings... you know, puck possession, pinpoint passing, mindboggling maneuvering/fancy skating, INSANELY gorgeous team efforts (especially by the Zetterberg/Datsyuk/Holmstrom line) - there were even some losers leveled by Malts :-D It was breathtaking, I had to pause the tape at one point to laugh because I was getting too excited XD

In other news Christen and I finally got another couple of vids made for Stunned Paul... we're getting our forms back as well as developing new skills. We opened a new Youtube just for our SPP vids, and have started posting to our SPP LJ again... Alas, this is only the GOOD news... But as I am repressing the bad as of forever, we'll just stick to the fun :-D

Mmmmmm I got to see Lauren and NIN recently, and it was too cool for words really. Christen and I went with her co worker Stephanie - she was a lot of fun. I hope we get to hang out again soon :-) Since the concert I have been re watching all the NIN and Manson videos - I looooovessss them. This one is really cool because Trent's singing his 'Manson' song and ... LOL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWDbuPJBMZY&mode=related&search=

And my Sims 2 families are growing - Jack from Stargate wants 10 children - arg LOL I'm up to 6 I think.
Kristall came over and I showed her my new computer and therefore my Sims... We ended up spending near 6 hours on it - the time just flew. We also watched a bunch of Manson and NIN music videos and drooled/loveded.
Michael and his gf are playing their Sim versions in my Sims 2 game right now...
Wow, I'm really uninspired ... I guess I'll update later.

I never got around to that fic I wanted to write... maybe I'll get around to it later. I was distracted by Cassie & Josh buying me a computer XD http://www.dell.com/content/products/productdetails.aspx/xpsdt_400?c=us&cs=19&l=en&s=dhs

And I have to rant a bit:
On YouTube, Christen posted my Tribute to John Lennon music video - and people were actually telling ME they thought it SHOULD HAVE BEEN to a Lennon song instead of the song I chose ( "October" by Evanescence - the lyrics fit my feelings, and I thought the title was fitting). So, I'm really irritated, because YouTube won't let me post comments or do anything really. Arg. I want to tell them I used that song because it was supposed to be from the point of view of the people that loved John, the people that regret mistreating him, and how devastated they are that he's gone. *sigh*

Update cause I'm avoiding writing a fanfic I don't know how to start or where to go with. Basically all I have is a plot... A sketchy plot. Anyway... Lack of comments has made me not so eager to update. Saw Ringo on Friday, but things went wrong and it turned out to not be as fun as we'd hoped. It was still priceless sharing the air with him, seeing him walk around and be silly. I'm hoping I get a PC soon so I can join my friends in the online gamingness, because KH is going nowhere and I've seen every movie/series in this house. Heck, even my music is getting to be too much. I can only have so many songs on this comp because of the limited memory, and have yet to get my HD up and running. I miss having every Beatles song (both group and solo) ever in order to listen to... I love the songs I have, but I've listened to the same ones over & over for too long. Just getting one new song makes me freakishly happy. Gods I need me a new computer. Don't get me wrong, I love to read, but I'm a visual/kinetic person, I need to be seeing and doing many things at once, and I have to be in the right mood to read. Right now I feel kind of blah... I want to write this story, but I don't know what to do with it. Who's POV it is, what to open it with, where it will go, what will happen overall... I know the ending, and have ideas about what happens now and then, but I dunno... We'll see I guess.

Christen and I went to see Ringo with Jesse and Amber, which was sweet because they're both fun, mellow and interesting. I really enjoy spending time with them, I hope I get to more often.
Stu is staring at me from his tank, and I feel bad that I have yet to get him a new decoration. I have my eye on one at PNT, but I never have the money for it when I'm there. Gah.
Zimba, Zaire and Yuki are all over my room, they're apparently happy I'm home after being gone on and off all week. We're thinking of making Zaire wear diapers because he keeps making a mess in this one spot in the dining room. Why can't he just be good for me? Jim looks great - when I bought him he had 3 leaves - now he has the magical number 9. XD I;m surprised Teal'c hasn't asked for food yet today, usually he's hungry by now, but he's being extremely lazy...
I want more Beatles posters. I have one from pretty much every era right now... I really want the Beatles For Sale poster, I just love how it looks... And the one where they're standing in front of the blue wall. Mmmm. Ah well, have to wait on those. Computer comes first.
Speaking of computer I GUESS I should start on that fic... Or try to anyway. Ta.

I wasn't home for Paul's birthday, so I'm posting this now...
And despite all the crap going on in the world (and Paul's circle of friends) I hope he had a great birthday. Too bad so few of the Beatles (including friends and family here) made it this far.

Ok people, When using Paul's nickname for Ringo, it is spelled R-I-C-H-I-E . Not R-I-T-C-H-I-E ! There is no 't' in Richard OK????? Therefore, in the nickname, or, shortened version, there is also no 't'!!! Richie! Rich! See??? GAI!

"They who would give up an essential liberty for a temporary security, deserve neither liberty nor security." --Benjamin Franklin

AWESOME quote, aw yeah. Love that man... and he was a Free Mason :-D
Anyway, as for Phil Spector... I JUST found out he's been charged with murder. Apparently they found a dead girl in his house - shot to death. Also, it was reported he used to pull guns on friends and coworkers, such as John Lennon. Wow... it's not lookin' good Philly.

I was awoken today by a call from Cassie - she told me Billy Preston 'the 5th Beatle' had passed away and radio stations were playing Beatles music all day in honor... I lost it on the phone right there, tears everywhere. I'll never listen to Let It Be the same way again. *sigh* They all die much much too young... I hate the damned Curse.

Oh no, it's the end...!... oh whatever, I'm going to bed. (just finished drawring...things)

Simple, but ADORABLE. *sniffle* Reminds me of my cousin Ian in the Marines.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H71MYhhaDU4

So, on our way back from a friend's house Christen and I stopped at Millpond Park. It was about 10:30pm or later. We strolled up to the river and sat down, proceeded to talk. A couple minutes later a police car drove up all ominous like out of the pitch black old witch hiding darkness of doom, and the man inside asked us how we were. After replying he asked me what I had been carrying, was it a bucket? A BUCKET??? I look down at my flimsy jean jacket and try SO very hard not to laugh in his face. "This? It's just my jacket." It was so surreal. He said a few more things neither of us caught (I think it was something about having to check on us to make sure we weren't doing anything illegal) and wished us a good night before driving off. Wow. Excuse me whilst I slip on my bucket...

Been up to stuff. Fun. Wee.

Well, Wash and Zoe (as I named the new fish) didn't last very long. Wash went first, and Zoe was gone a few hours later. I didn't see them eat once the whole time I had them. Damn it. Poor Stu has to be all friendless now. Cause I am NOT going through the trouble of replacing his little friends every week. Whores. Anyway... Looking forward to seeing Diane tomorrow/today/Friday- funnessssss :-D

CSI has officially pissed me off. WHAT THE HELL WHAT THAT LAST SCENE ABOUT???? I begged all that was good in the universe NOT to do this shit - and not only that, but the producers promised us this wouldn't happen. F*CK SARA. Grissom was cool until he just up and randomly stops rejecting Sara after what, 6 seasons now? to hang out in her hotel room doing god knows what while she wanders around in a friggin bathrobe! Jesus Christ on a Cracker, I am so tired of my favorite characters either dying or becoming incredibly STUPID (AKA losing their uniqueness to become a typical TV/movie character model). Sara is the most irritating and useless character - she's a 4 yr old! She throws hissy fits when her uninterested boss won't sleep with her! *slams head into desk* At least I have about 5 good seasons with a sane and cool Grissom. As I said - he got STUPID.

That goes for LOST too - something tells me Michael is screwed. After all, this cannot go down well. And even if everyone gets out alive, they're going to find out sooner or later that Michael did what he did... Gah. If anyone should die, let it be Kate. I am so sick of all this hetero romance crap. Gimme some Sayid/Jack or Sawyer/Jack lovin' damn it! OOOOHHHH< maybe the others will kill Kate in some nifty heathen stake burning thing. *giggles evilly* Yesssssssss yessssssssss, that'll be totally coool, yesssssssss XD <- One Ring to Rule Them All rip off